When Friends Become Lovers,When Lovers Meet The End

You guessed it,this entry is just about that - the cycle/part and parcel of life.
In any and every stage of our lives, we will meet and socialise. We will start and end conversations, and the same may be repeated for countless times, depending on what your perspective is like towards the other party. Is he/she worth your time talking to? Is he/she being someone attractive,not just physically, that you are quite eager to find and dig out more from him/her?

We have all been through that have we? And we will certainly continue to have such experiences. Disappointingly miserable or lovably memorable, that is another story - that is up to the choices only one of us has to make. Wrong choices equate to uninviting outcomes and I am not embarrassed to admit I am guilty of that. My purpose of blogging about this is not to rake up about my past and blaming anyone that i can, but rather, it's about thinking of what i did, what i did not do and perhaps, why.

I was out on a supposedly "double date" outing last year. It was fun for me and I'm sure for the rest too albeit I am naturally the guy who tends to be "conservative" with new people for most of the time. Before that, this girl and I were normal friends tho we exchanged numerous sms-es and such weeks before the initial outing. Every thing was cool and steady, there was no "love" or "hate" between us.

Three days after the outing, I decided and felt that I wanted to meet her (I haven't developed any special feelings at this point of time,but I could see myself to getting more attracted and deeply appreciating her), so we did. Our friendship really blossomed by then, and before we knew it, We Were In Love. It was sincerely beautiful.

But things took a turn after about three months. We started having misunderstandings and arguments. It was still very much beautiful, but our relationship was starting to get a lilttle marred by those incidents. And when things took the turn, they never really reversed. And when that happened, it just had to end. Everything we had, everytime we shared - had reached its point and had to cease.

It was dreadful. However, why all those happened, we only have our reflections to look up to. Most of the arguments were derived from my conflicting point of views. She had her way, I had mine. And somewhere in between, I think we forgot the art of "giving and taking." Until now, some things are still left unsettled. And that is the time I really think, maybe we're just not what you call "compatible." We find it very difficult to deal with each other's differences. There are of course, some bad points you can clearly dig out from me. On the other hand, it takes two hands to clap. In other words, if it has to end, it means both parties are just not able to accept and treat each other as a significant other. I'm not really blaming myself, or her for that matter. I try not to blame anything because when I do, that doesn't solve the problem. Of course I have had times when I just wanted to say or do hurtful things just to spite the other person. That is stupid - and childish. But the best choice is to hold back, and let the calm mind make its way to the heart and God-willing, things will cool down from there.

We have broken up some 3 weeks ago. Until yesterday, my feelings for her were still strong. Then I met up with my friends during the night. It made me realise, there is certainly more to life than just, "a girl." Having said that, I don't know. The special feeling I had might just come back one day.

Whatever it is, I wish for the best outcome from this. That is, whatever happens, let it happen with peace and love. I have a lot to learn and I hope, whatever I've picked up from this experience, I will utilise all of it into my life.

Now, it's just that I tend to think. Sometimes, Less is Just More.



To whom it is concerned, I love you as a companion and when it helps us to get on better terms by doing some things, I hope we can do that more often.


Love,
MiK.